When I started consulting, I had a script. And I don’t mean that as a figure of speech.
My first consulting role was with a large national HR services company, and they had a formula for everything: how we interacted with clients, what we talked about, and how often we checked in. Every client got the same cadence and the same playbook.
I’ll give it this much. For consultants, it was a no-brainer. You never had to wonder what to do next.
But that formula made a lot of assumptions. It assumed it already knew what each client’s issues were. It assumed how much time a consultant should spend solving them. And it assumed every client wanted the same thing from us.
Not every client wanted the same thing
They didn’t. Some clients wanted HR services as a kind of insurance policy. They didn’t want to hear from me until there was a problem. Some wanted our services in place of hiring HR staff. And some wanted support for a specific project, and that was it.
The script didn’t care about any of that. So I spent time pressing clients for things they didn’t need or want, and they spent time humoring me. Nobody was winning.
Then I read two books
Getting Naked by Patrick Lencioni and Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler changed how I consult. Later, The Power of a Good Fight by Lynne Eisaguirre rounded it out.
The first thing that changed was simple: I stopped assuming. I started helping clients figure out what they really wanted from me, so I could provide exactly that. No more wasting their time or mine.
The second thing took more nerve. I got more confident telling clients what they needed to hear, and I learned to detach from the outcome. My job is to give you my honest, best advice. The decisions, and the accountability for them, belong to the people running the business. Once I understood that, I stopped softening things to protect myself.
Being wrong got easier, too
I got more comfortable being wrong. I asked more questions. And I started calling out clients’ practices, not just their policies, because what’s written in the handbook and what actually happens on a Tuesday afternoon aren’t always the same thing.
The biggest lesson was this one: saying someone did a bad thing is not the same as saying they are a bad person. Once I really understood that, hard conversations stopped feeling like attacks, for me and for the people on the other side of the table.
What that means if you work with me
I’m going to ask what you actually need before I assume anything. I’m going to tell you the truth, respectfully, even when it’s uncomfortable. I’m not perfect at it, and being direct doesn’t mean I’m always right. It means I’m not afraid to say what needs to be said to move the needle forward, even if I’m wrong.
So if you’re working with a consultant right now, ask yourself: Are they solving your problems, or following their script? Are they telling you the truths you need to hear, the ones that challenge your thinking on the what, the why, and the how?
Looking for an HR partner who’ll tell it to you straight? See how Rethinking HR approaches HR consulting, or let’s talk.
This post shares general information and personal experience for educational purposes only. It isn’t legal advice, and reading it doesn’t create a consulting relationship. For guidance on your specific situation, consult a qualified employment attorney or HR professional.
